Navigating Consent, Relationships & Campus Culture
College relationships and consent are more complex than ever. In this piece, Dr. Jill Grimes breaks down what students, parents, and educators need to know about navigating campus culture today.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned after decades of working with college students, it’s this: the questions haven’t changed as much as the context has. Students are still figuring out relationships, sex, and identity. But today, they’re doing it in a culture shaped by social media, party expectations, and often incomplete information.
(Not) Everyone is Doing It
Many students arrive on campus thinking “everyone is doing it.” Social media, TV, and movies have helped normalize hookup culture, making it easy to feel like you’re behind if you’re not sexually active.
But that’s simply not true. National data show that roughly 1 in 4 college students report not having had sex in the past year, which can be reassuring for students who feel behind.
While hookup culture is often framed as casual and empowering, that story is incomplete.
What’s missing?
First, the emotional fallout. Even when something is meant to be casual, students can experience hurt feelings, embarrassment, or regret – especially if expectations aren’t aligned or if communication is unclear. Second, the very real risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). STIs are common among young adults and affect people across all backgrounds.
Adding Alcohol to the Mix
In many college settings, alcohol is woven into social life. This often amplifies the risks associated with hookup culture. When drinking is normalized, especially binge drinking or blacking, it lowers inhibitions and makes it harder to make thoughtful decisions about sex and relationships.
This becomes especially important when we talk about consent. Many college students assume that if someone appears to be saying “yes” and going along with physical intimacy, that counts as consent. We need to reinforce that alcohol can significantly impair judgment, communication, and the ability to make informed decisions.
The simplest, safest advice I give students is this: when alcohol is involved, consent becomes much less reliable. Slow things down or wait.
Relationships in a Digital World
Digital culture is reshaping how students approach intimacy. Many dating apps are used less for building long-term connections and relationships, and more as a kind of “on-demand” hookup culture.
At the same time, AI is becoming a new form of connection. Some students use it as a constant, affirming “sounding board,” which can feel supportive – but may reduce opportunities to build real-world relationship skills like navigating conflict or building trust.
The challenge isn’t the technology – it’s helping students recognize the difference between easy access to connection, and meaningful connecting.
Mental Health and Decision Making
Mental health and past experiences also shape how students navigate relationships, beginning with fueling an intense drive to fit in.
Students dealing with anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma may be more likely to use alcohol or substances to lower inhibitions, cope socially, or feel more in control, which often impairs decision-making. In party settings, that can translate into higher-risk sexual situations, difficulty asserting consent, or regret afterward.
The goal isn’t to shame behavior. Instead, we want to acknowledge these influences and equip students with more effective coping strategies: know your limits, have a plan with friends, and recognize that clear consent and clear thinking go hand in hand.
Unequal Starting Points
Not all students arrive on campus equally prepared. In Texas, gaps in sex education and access to care leave many without the information they need.
Students from rural or first-generation backgrounds often have less access to comprehensive education and healthcare. We know that the “opt-in” sex ed policy in Texas means many students miss key information altogether, contributing to higher teen birth rates, which are sadly about 46% higher than the national average.
LGBTQ+ students face additional challenges. In Texas, sex education is rarely LGBTQ-inclusive, and these students experience higher rates of stigma, mental health challenges, and even sexual violence, all of which are linked to increased sexual health risks.
The common thread isn’t about placing blame on individual behavior; it’s about addressing unequal access to accurate information, inclusive education, and healthcare before students ever arrive on campus.
Where Do We Go From Here?
For parents, it starts with honest conversations with your kids before sending them to college—about alcohol, consent, and relationships. These don’t have to be perfect or one-time talks, but they do need to be ongoing.
For educators and community health leaders, it means creating spaces where students feel safe asking questions and learning without judgment. It also means teaching real-life skills: communication, boundaries, recognizing pressure, and navigating consent. And, it means correcting the “everyone is doing it” myth.
Some students will be sexually active. Others will wait. Some will opt out altogether. All of these choices can be healthy when they’re grounded in readiness, respect, and personal values. Sharing accurate information can reduce pressure and help students feel less alone in their choices.
Small shifts in how we talk about these topics can have a lasting impact. When we center respect, communication, and choice over perceived norms, we give students something more valuable than rules—we give them the tools to make decisions that are right for them.
Dr. Grimes is a board-certified family physician, award-winning author, and nationally recognized expert on college health. See more about her book, “The Ultimate College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness.”
🎟️ Don’t miss a chance to hear her keynote speech live at our Healthy Futures Symposium in Round Rock, Texas, this April 27 – 30. Register today: TXSYMPOSIUM.org.
